i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we made out on top of his cat.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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