She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
