Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The uberlube is also flammable
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
