If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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