They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
