I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
