There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
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No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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