In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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