I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
