Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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