the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
