At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
