I need help removing her.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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