new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
