Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
