The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
