You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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