i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
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