meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
