Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
