After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize