did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Are we still banned from the library?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
