i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
this will be a night to untag.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
