never play flip cup with pint glasses
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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