Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just had sex on a roof
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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