I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
