i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
