yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
