so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
