i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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