I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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