omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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