I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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