i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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