I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
