It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize