the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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