speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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