We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
