Say something about gay babies.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
