JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
FUCK WHALES
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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