Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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