im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
