I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
