At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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