Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
