Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
