The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
