she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
