I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
