You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize