Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
