i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I smell like Dick and happiness
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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