i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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