She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
