Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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