I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
