this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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