I just made out with a guy for $7.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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